Marriage to divorce

I have known Ally (not her real name) since we were 14. We have always sworn that when the time came we’d have each other in our weddings. I should never have made such a promise.

Ally and Mark (not his real name) met in HS. I never liked him, but after they’d dated/lived together off and on for four years and gotten engaged I didn’t think there was much I could do to convince her. Was told after said engagement to prepare to buy a BM dress. No call. For two years. During this time the couple again moved in with each other and later, when they could no longer afford that around their expensive habit of tearing apart and rebuilding her car for car shows, they moved in with his parents together. (This is important later).

During the two years when I am hearing nothing from BTB, I am paying my way through college on a base-paying job. Every six months or so I would call about the wedding. BTB never picks up the phone. Finally, at lowest financial point of my life, Ally calls. “We’re getting married in 3 months! Meet me at David’s Bridal and we’ll pick out a dress for you!”

I was originally supposed to be one of four BMs (including MOH). Early on, Ally promised us that the dress would be inexpensive. After alterations, my dress cost as much as the BTB’s gown (she got hers on sale…no such luck for us)! Came to find out later that the MOH who was also FG’s mother and RB’s mother and minister’s wife, had to pay not only for her dress but also for the FG dress which was a mini-BTB gown…and was MORE EXPENSIVE than BTB’s gown! Not like ANYONE involved in the wedding was rolling in money, but even now that seems overboard.

After gowns were bought parties began to be planned. BTB and her FH registered at Wal-Mart, which seemed reasonable and (finally!) affordable. Until I got to the store. Their registry had next-to-nothing that was under $200 on it…and included big ticket items like big screen televisions and the entire first season of their favorite television program. It left me in a bind because I couldn’t afford to buy just about any of it…and all of their lower priced items had already been purchased. And really…didn’t know what to get for a couple who had been living together on and off for a total of five years?

BTB showed up at the Jack-and-Jill shower she’d demanded and 1) wondered why she didn’t get better gifts 2) wondered why she didn’t get double gifts 3) demanded better/more gifts at bachelorette party and wedding. Then, when a BM came who couldn’t afford the dress and three gifts she abruptly asked the girl (in front of everyone) why she bothered to come at all. No thank you’s ever said or sent.

I missed the rehearsal dinner because of another wedding I was attending, but I guess that it was there where Ally’s Bridezilla colors truly shined. She threw a royal hissy fit because no one was walking the way she wanted and she couldn’t decide how to pair BM’s and GM. She threw things and screamed everyone down saying things like “You’re all ruining my wedding!” and “This is my wedding, we’ll do it the way I want!” It was insane and I was glad that I’d missed it. In the aftermath she lost a BM (the one who couldn’t afford the shower gift..the girl had bought the dress but decided on the last night that she couldn’t handle Ally anymore).

Wedding day. I show up at MOH/Minister/FG/RB’s house. The remaining BM and I are trying to keep RB (Age 3) and FG (Age 5) happy…while occasionally checking on MOH and BTB. BTB is in bedroom complaining that her hair (which MOH had spent three hours on) was not good enough. MOH should be given sainthood for her patience. Other BM was sniped at “don’t mess up the song you’re singing” …which made the girl even more nervous than she already was. I was sniped at “If you cover your shoulders with that wrap I will rip it off of your body at the altar!”

BTB had planned a limo to take everyone to the park…except hadn’t given anyone advanced notice. My car was at the MOH’s house…and no way for me to get back to it after the wedding…thankfully MOH offered me a ride when BTB threw a tizzy because I suggested that I follow in my car. When we got to the park, BTB threw another fit because her FMIL was at the wedding (the woman she was living with…but she didn’t want her there) and almost didn’t get out of the limo as a result. When I tried to remind Ally that the moment was about her and Mark getting married and none of the details…she told me to shut the heck up (with expletives) and get out of the limo.

Once we exited the limo everything went fairly smoothly. I took up the MOH role, since the MOH was busy with FG/RB/Minister. I thought that the wedding was beautiful but later heard Ally grumbling that she couldn’t believe how long it had taken for her father to walk her down the aisle or how rude everyone was to go over to the reception area while the wedding party was posing for pictures. She also couldn’t believe her BMs and GM were uneven (making people quit will do that to you)…and so on and so forth.

The Bride and Groom ended up opening presents at the reception (never heard of such a thing!) and being completely unimpressed with what they got. The real reason, I found out later, was that they’d expected people would give them money…and only one person had gifted them cash. Silly us, we thought you actually WANTED the stuff on your registry!

I went home exhausted…received no thank you…and didn’t hear from the bride again until their divorce two years later.

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  1. WOW! That is a crazy story, talk about a self centered immature bride!

  2. Exactly what I was thinking. Your writing was on the spot. To get your ex back is not the hardest of the accomplishments But it for sure can cost some effort

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